Last 6 Weeks

Good lord this is tough to keep up on; it’s incredibly easy to just blow off writing to the next day. Sooo….6 weeks passed since my last update, during which I dropped my anesthesia interviews and set up 8 pathology interviews (so far).

As far as my relationship goes, I met the redhead’s parents at a big dinner with the whole family. I think they like me alright. I met her friends at two different parties. Her friend group is a dozen or so close friends with quite a bit of drama. I’m not really used to such a large collective group of friends and certainly not used to drama like this. Again, I think they liked me alright.

I had one interview so far for pathology; at Syracuse. I was very impressed with the program. It seemed very cohesive and friendly and forward-thinking; more focused on lab management and bioinformatics than on simply surgical pathology.

I met with YC and J two days ago and we decided to all write something in 10 days and submit them to each other for analysis and editing. I’m having a really hard time coming up with a story idea and that has been preoccupying my mind the last day.

Oh, my rotation last month (October) was in pathology at DMC and this month I have a research elective, which basically just means a free month for interviews – thus the short story challenge.

At the end of this week, I have my DMC interview. Next week I have an interview at East Carolina, which is in Greenville North Carolina, and I have one in Baptist Health in Birmingham Alabama. I’m trying to set up the flights today.

The Last Two Weekends

I’ll briefly cover two weekends, otherwise I’ll never catch up.

Weekend 1: Sept 18-20

Me and the redhead drove to rural Illinois on Friday. My mom packed us a cute little lunch, which I did not expect, and we essentially rode straight there. I tried showing her some of the music I listen to and she showed me hers. We stopped in Kalamazoo and I showed her where I went to college for a year and a half. She had never heard of bell’s brewery, but we were there at 10 am, so it wasn’t open yet. As we drove, she made us official on facebook, which became a background event while we were at the wedding. We arrived at our hotel at around 3 and the moment we shut the door we tore each others’ clothes off. This was the first time I came in her. Over the course of the weekend, about half of the time was spent with us fooling around in our hotel room and the other half with us at the wedding. The wedding was in a barn in a vast cornfield. The barn was very tastefully decorated. Friday night we met everyone in the wedding party and did a quick run-through of the wedding, then we all drank and played giant Jenga and cornhole, which is more fun than it sounds. Saturday was the wedding day. I had to take pictures in my tux with the group early in the day, then the wedding went off flawlessly. It was small, about 75 people, but very pretty. We then danced for the night in a tent outside of the barn. We drove back on sunday.

Weekend 2: Sept 25-27

Friday night I met with my friend YC, who I hadn’t seen in 3 months. We met at Cass Cafe. I told him about my trip and the redhead and he told me about this blonde med student he’s going out with. We ended the night at Honest Johns, but I had to have coffee at that point because I had to drive back.

Saturday night I met with the Redhead’s friends and her sister. She built them up to be something monumental in my mind, but in reality they were just kind of chubby kids. We met them in one of their houses in St. Clair shores and played drinking games. At one point we went out on a pier that went out into lake St. Clair. I am not used to being around water, and this struck me as particularly beautiful at night. We went to bed on a fold out. I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me. I’ve never said that to anyone before. She repeated it to me while I was inside of her. I woke up incredibly hung over and threw up in a plastic bag as she drove me back home. Sunday I spent hungover, thinking dark thoughts and watching House of Cards. It’s interesting how your mood matches your physiologic state; when you feel sick, you feel depressed. I questioned what I was doing in a relationship. I felt like I should break it off as it seemed suffocating all of the sudden. But that passed as I began to feel better.

The next week I studied with the method that YC told me, which consists of doing a block of questions and typing out notes on everything that you didn’t know from the question. I know it sounds simple, but I’ve really taken a liking to this. So far I have 20 pages of notes.

Board Games and Applications

Two Saturday’s ago I was home alone, so I invited the redhead over. She brought board games. We played pandemic, a cooperative game where we try to stop an epidemic from taking over the world. We lost. Then we played CV, a card game kind of like life. I lost, but barely. She hadn’t seen “Singing in the rain,” so I pulled the couch out and we watched it. Halfway through the movie, my brother came back from our Aunt’s. I assumed he’d spend the night, but whatever, he went off to his own room and left us to watch our movie. So, after the movie, me and the redhead fooled around under the blanket on the fold-out bed. Then we went to my childhood bed and continued. This whole session was much more intense for some reason. It’s incredibly difficult to actually get any sleep with her. In the morning, she left and I took my brother out to brunch. The following morning I drove him to the airport.

I finished my applications for residency on Tuesday. I applied to 140 programs, but I don’t think I’ll realistically get interviews anywhere, so I’m trying to plan my next year. I took a practice Step 2 CK test today, as my real exam 12 days away, I got 201, which isn’t even passing. I definitely need to push the test back. I spent the rest of the day in a depressive funk, wondering about innate ability. Perhaps I just don’t have any aptitude for medical science…But I’m already this far, so I may as well graduate.

Tomorrow, me and the redhead are going to my high school friend’s wedding in rural Illinois. She’ll be here at 7 am and we’ll spend most of the day driving.


Wednesday Dinner with My Old Roommate and Saturday in Ann Arbor with the Tall Beautiful Redhead

Weds: I met with my old roommate GB at Cass Cafe. When we roomed together we were both single and we often just talked about our crushes – the natural consequence of attraction without action. I’m not sure about him, but I would always have someone that I was attracted to, someone who’s image would invade my mind spontaneously. Right now it’s the tall beautiful redhead. Sometimes when I close my eyes I’ll imagine kissing her passionately until I end up with a mouthful of long red hair and she giggles while I take a second to spit it out of my mouth. Or I’ll imagine more sexual scenes, where I’m fingering her, or she’s going down on me, or I where look into her eyes while I’m inside of her… Anyways discussing these crushes was innocent fun, but like any gossip without action it became stale. It all faded down and we didn’t really talk about crushes until he met his (now) girlfriend, SM, about a year ago. We went out on a group date to plus-sized belly dancing in July 2014 and they have been inseparable since then. She is brash, loud, and kind of carefree while he is more practical, intellectual, and careful. He told me that he was always the serious one in groups when he was a kid. I didn’t really believe him because he was always pretty fun to be around, and still is, but I can see now why he defines himself that way when contrasted with her.

When we met on Wednesday we fell back into our routine of very open-minded venting about relationships, however, we are at very different points relationship-wise. He’s now a year in and thinking about marriage with hesitation – her faults are much more apparent to him, they’re no longer cute quirks but now they’re permanent character flaws. He explained to me how she is kind of a party girl, which is not really news, but now he thinks it may not just be a passing phase, instead it may be a permanent part of her personality. He recalled a story of when he went to her 5-year high school reunion. She built up the event with stories of drama and gossip. When he arrived he felt shy and broke away from her. He went over to a group of guys just standing around who told him that the school was actually really kind of nerdy. Sure drama existed, but there wasn’t anything truly surprising or unique about it, and most of it blew over immediately. He realized that most of the drama that she had fixated on only existed in her mind now.

I in turn told him all about my girl. We’d been going out for a month (I know it seems shorter due to me writing once a week, but it had been a month by then) and how we had  had interesting dates, how she is really financially practical, how she lives on her own, and has a steady job at 23, how she and I don’t connect over common interests, but rather how we connect due to common temperaments, how I played her songs on guitar and she smiled, how I have never had such a healthy, reciprocated adoration for someone before. I probably depressed him a little with my cheery optimism. I was reminded of a line from Peep Show, something along the lines of, “There’s only a finite amount of happiness in the world, and they’re hording it all.” I felt a little guilty, but why should I?

Sat: She had never been to Ann Arbor. I tried to map out a day where she was exposed to a broad range of what the city had to offer. She drove to my house, where I clumsily introduced her to my mom while I quickly packed up. I took vodka from the basement and we mixed it into a two-liter of lemonade. I drove her to Ann Arbor while listening to and trying to explain my music to her. She’d never heard of The Strokes!

First thing I did when I got to the city was showed her where I used to live and work. The flat lot in front of the Kellogg Eye Center was developed into a multi-story garage. That single change made the whole area look so much more urban. Then we ate at Zingerman’s. We just split a reuben and talked. We then started walking towards the Arboretum, but realized it would be 45 minute walk, so we drove. I figured she’d like the Arb because she liked to wander off into woods to be alone and read when she was younger. We found a bench that overlooked the river and sat drinking our vodka-lemonade. We made out when no one was in sight and stopped when people walked by. I took her to the stage in the center of the Arb where they perform Shakespeare in the park. She said she played maria in a middle-school production of The Sound of Music, so I tried to get her to sing.

We then drove downtown. I took her to Hopcat, which isn’t historical or particularly special to Ann Arbor, but it was a nice change of scenery. We walked around the downtown a bit afterwards. I took her to Necto, which at that point in the night was free and empty, so I just showed her the layout. Then I got in touch with my Russian friend.

He lives in the dentistry frat house. We drove over to his place and played beer pong and foosball, a game that I discovered I’m surprisingly good at. A few more people came over and we played more beer pong and left to go to Rick’s – a divey, dirty, grimey club. We went to a corner of the club as a group and just drank for the most part. One guy in the group talked to me for the majority of the time. He was an army veteran who was re-enlisting to support his new wife. He told me that me and the redhead made a beautiful couple and that he was surprised we’d only been a couple for a month. It was overall a very cheerful night.

We returned to the frat house and my Russian friend left me and my girlfriend his room as he went off to be with his girlfriend. I was surprised he just left us his room like that, but whatever…we fooled around in his bed all night. I have the hardest time actually sleeping with this girl. I get this primitive urge whenever I’m lying next to her, so I got maybe two hours of sleep that night. There were multiple times throughout the night where I wanted to say “I love you” but I don’t want to be premature with such a declaration.

The next morning we went to brunch at a “rustic chic” place called Cafe Zola. It wasn’t bad at all, just a bit pricey. I tried a ratatouille crepe, which was a misguided attempt to make a soup sandwich. I ended up just eating the rest of her waffle after she ate all of the fruit off of it. I was exhausted. We drove back to my parent’s house where we were met by my little brother and my cousin’s son. I introduced her to my Dad, she left, then I passed out in my bed.

Oh yeah, and I passed my OB/GYN shelf! So I’m officially done with my 3rd year of med school. I also got a letter of recommendation from the Chief of Anesthesia, who I shadowed last week and I completed my rough draft of my personal statement. This news is actually from today (Tuesday). Much more stuff like this has happened the entire time I’ve had this blog, but it’s less fun to write about than my social life. I think human beings are such inherently social creatures that if a million things happen and only one of them is a social, they will spend the bulk of their time dissecting and reminiscing over that one social interaction.

The End of OB/GYN, The Tall Beautiful Redhead, and Anesthesiology

Let me try and get the chronology of all of this correct.

On the Saturday before my OB/GYN shelf I took the tall beautiful redhead (CB if I used initials earlier) out to midtown Detroit, where I lived the last 2 years until I moved back in with my parents in June. I just took her to motor city brewery and Cass Cafe, so we didn’t really explore very much, but she did get a little tiny taste of midtown. I can’t really dissect what we discussed as it was…well I guess just over a week ago…it feels longer ago though. I get a twist in my stomach sometimes when I’m out with her. I’m always imagining scenarios where I would have to defend her, or where she gets hit on and I have to intervene, or where we simply get heckled in the street and I have to react somehow. I would imagine that most men have these preoccupations when they’re out with pretty girls, especially in areas with younger or more outspoken populations, so I was particularly aware of this in midtown. This is also why I limited the time to just these two restaurants. One thing that did stand out to me from this date. I had a list of 37 questions from psychology today that are kind of starting points for getting to know someone better. I only made it through 8 with her, but one was, “what would your perfect day be?” Hers was a pretty typical day, she goes to work and works with her favorite team of people, then gets home and hangs out with me. It was so sweet and unexpected. I expected it to be grandios. Hers was so rooted in reality.

I took the next week to study for my OB/GYN shelf on Thursday. I devised a plan where I did 3 hour-long blocks of questions every day and reviewed every night. I was able to go through the test twice when I actually took it, so I wasn’t pressed for time, however, I have no idea how well I did. If I failed it it’ll completely derail my plans at the moment.

I met with her Thursday night after the test at her place. We talked for hours, then made out. She told me that she didn’t expect anything to happen tonight and didn’t actually have any condoms and wasn’t on contraception. So, I used a condom I found in my car. We were both really nervous. I tried not to show it, but she definitely did. I probably did as well. I think it just had to do with the fact that I really like this girl and I wanted it to be special. I realized that that kind of thinking is detrimental to sex, however, the thought never left my mind. The combination of the condom choking my dick and her being pretty tense… well, I don’t actually know why, but I couldn’t fit in her. We just fooled around and I eventually got off manually, on my back, with her kissing me. It rained white all over the two of us, which grossed me out, but she was nonchalant about it. I left because I planned to meet with the anesthesiologists at Crittenton the next day. That actually fell though and was deferred to Monday.

On Saturday I started “Doctor’s in Training” for Step 2, which is in late September for me. It’s a pretty interactive video series and is the main focus of my study plan, along with the U world question bank.

I met with her again on Saturday night. She was geeked about going to a painting class, in which everyone paints based off of a template with an instructor at the front. It was pretty relaxing. Now I have a painting of a sailboat in front of a crude Detroit skyline with a “starry night” sky. My parents hung it up in the living room even though it looks dark and crude compared to the relative lightness of the rest of the room. There was a bachelorette party there as well, which seems kind of tame, but I guess not everyone is really into bars. That reminds me of when I went out with SB a few weeks ago, I think I recorded it in the blog. We went to a dueling piano bar and there were two bachelorette parties. One had a pretty blonde girl and a group of her hot friends. They were wasted and requested songs from the pianists all night. The other party consisted of a fat sad bachelorette in the corner of the room with her friends trying to console her. SB said that she overheard them all in the bathroom telling the sad fat bachelorette that that she was beautiful and that everything would be alright. But back to my paint-by-colors wine event.

We finished and went to where she grew up: in Harrison Township on the coast of Lake St. Clair. We sat out in a little park looking out on the lake in the dark. We kissed. Then she took me down a long path through woods to a tree that she and her friends used to hang out at in high school. It was a good mile down a thin path in the woods at midnight. I felt stupid and vulnerable for going along with it. The path loosely followed a river. At one part of the path we walked under a bridge where I-94 went over the river. It was surprisingly dark and vulnerable. This is where hobos or drug addicts would kill us, I knew it. She didn’t seem fazed by it, which bothered me a bit. We got to her tree, which now was covered with impenetrable brush. We walked about on a nearby bridge over another river. We kissed and I reached up her dress. We walked back and when we went under the bridge I told her how needlessly reckless the walk was. We took a seat on the ledge next to the walkway and made out. Yeah, I made out with a girl in near-pitch dark, at midnight on a Saturday night under a filthy bridge. We got back to the car, went back to her house.

We just talked for a while. I asked her more questions from my 36 questions list. At 3 AM my friend YC texted me, which gives me some timeframe to work with, otherwise I’d completely lose track of this night. At the time we were playing with tarot cards. I learned that I’m death and my end is victory, whatever that means. Her end was death, which made her laugh and I rationalized by saying I was her last man. We eventually fucked and I spent the night. She was incredibly passionate this night and it was much more open and fun than the first time.

The next morning I played her songs on the guitar with a tiny guitar she had in her guest room. I tried to sing everything I could remember. The one’s that really resonated were “Apple Blossom” by the White Stripes and “I’ll Try Anything Once” by Julian Casablancas.

We then went to her favorite brunch place, but it was closed for vacation. I played music I knew in her car, which has 0% overlap with her music. I settled on the songs I sang to her earlier. I took her out to a Coney Island on her block. She had never been to it before. I returned home and slept all day. She went up to her grandmother’s, who lives just north of Grand Rapids.

Monday (today), I went into Crittenton and met with the head of anesthesia. He was incredibly friendly and liked to talk about the field, but admitted that he would not be able to stay with me the whole day, so I tried to meet with other anesthesiologists. I saw a kid go under for a tonsillectomy. They just keep talking to the kid, give him gas, he passes out, then they put the IV in. Then I went up to the outpatient suite and watched a CRNA do a colonoscopy. I didn’t know anyone in the room, and as time continued going on I felt more and more awkward about introducing myself. I kept telling myself that I would be more aggressive with introductions next time, but honestly, I have been in this identical situation multiple times. Maybe now that I’ve written it out I’ll be more proactive with it. The coolest thing I saw today was a bipass surgery. The blood is actually drained out of the body and circulates through a bipass machine, keeping it oxygenated and functional, the the while the surgeon works on the still heart. The anesthesiologist and CRNA have a dozen drips, fluids, and in this case, packed-RBCs due to the patients severe anemia. I realized that I should have been more proactive in general today, so I’m trying to make a list of questions to ask these doctors, about the life and livelihood and the science behind it all. Ideally I would like 2 letters from this week, I’m not sure how to get them though. That brings the blog up to speed. I’ll go in the rest of the week and try to make the most of it.

What else…? My brother came back from St. Kitts on Saturday and has been around the house since then. Also, my parents left for Chicago today.

Quick Update in the middle of my GYN Rotation

So I have a little over a week left of my OB/GYN rotation. Ideally I would like to update this every day and really dissect aspects of the day – really create a scene, however, most days I simply can’t find half-an-hour to nudge this project in. I can hardly wait until this rotations over. The veneer of cordiality has worn off and now it’s just another unpleasant experience. I feel like an idiot whenever I am put on the spot. My words come out in a spastic ineloquent stutter. This condition is completely circumstantial. I had similar experiences in my internal medicine rotation and my continuity clinic. Since it’s only in certain instances I know I’ll be free from it in a week and a half when GYN is all over.

Last week I went to the tall beautiful redhead’s (CB’s) house. We played a simple card game, talked a lot and about everything. I took her complete medical history almost in a truth or dare way. Then we got sushi. When we got back to her place and made out, but the experience from the week before in Ann Arbor got to me, so I stopped short and kind of left her after building up sexual tension and snapping off her bra. I saw her again on the weekend for dinner, however, this didn’t have the same charm. The lighting was poor and it highlighted her flaws and she had stuff in her teeth, even after I told her. I know that people are just humans and even beauty is fickle day-to-day, but I thought it wouldn’t happen with her. I’m still going on with the abstinence from PMO so next time I can, I’ll escalate much more.

On Friday night I hung out with my friend SB again. We went to bars in Royal Oak off of a “Best Bars” list. We finished the night at the dueling piano bar and played “fuck, marry, kill” with everyone in the bar. I requested Tiny Dancer, which was a huge relief after continuous U of M vs MSU fight songs. My voice is still kind of shot from that night 4 days ago.

Meet Me at 6:30

This week I met with someone every day from Tuesday through Saturday. It felt great to be able to maneuver the schedule and actually be somewhat social. I’ll try to pare the week down into a somewhat succinct post.

Tuesday at 6:30: Met with my Russian friend SB at a brewery in Royal Oak. I don’t see her that often, the last time I saw her was 3 months ago. Today, she explained how she just broke up with her boyfriend and was now much more free. She loved the free schedule, the openness of her apartment, the fact that she could go to gay bars and just drink and have fun. The dinner was much more fun than I anticipated. We reminisced and ended up in fits of genuine loud laughter – the inimitable type that we all really crave and came so naturally in childhood. I convinced her to try OkCupid, which she later seems to have regretted. She did not anticipate how much attention she would get on it.

Wednesday at 6:30: Met with a date that I had been messaging for a while, CB. We met at One-eyed Betty’s in Ferndale. The place was packed, so we walked across the street to another bar. This exact scenario has happened 3 times to me before. I would change it, but it seems like people know where One-Eyed Betty’s is and it seems like a popular place to know. She was tall, redhead, and way more gorgeous than I expected. She works as a scrub tech at Troy Beaumont and loves it. She laughed at everything that I said. I really felt a connection with this girl. She had a wholesomeness and optimism that I am not used to seeing in a woman, or anyone for that matter. She said she didn’t really date and had only been on OkCupid for a week. She lived in Macomb county, which I know next to nothing about. She wasn’t actually familiar with Ferndale. I took her on a self-guided “tour” of Ferndale, which to be honest, even I don’t really know apart from One-Eyed Betty’s and the immediate area. We sat on a park bench and just talked for hours. We gradually sat closer and closer together. We kissed. I drove her to her car and we kissed again. This was probably the best first date I’ve ever had.

Thursday at 6:30: I met with CS. She’s the girl that I fell for really hard for last winter. I didn’t want to reignite the one-sided infatuation, so I had put off seeing her for months and hadn’t really followed her on Facebook. I didn’t realize that she moved out of Ferndale and was living in St. Clair Shores. She only was there for a month, then she planned to move to Eastpointe. Again, I don’t know these areas at all. We met at a sushi place in Warren. I remembered why I enjoyed being with her – she’s simultaneously brilliant, passionate, cynical, idealistic and spazzy. She told me about her schedule, which now consists of teaching summer school and studying for the GRE and barre classes, then about her plans to pursue a career in speech pathology. I told her about how I was not planning to do pathology anymore and I planned to do Family Medicine. She said that made sense and that she couldn’t imagine me doing pathology, that she saw me much more as a Family physician than a pathologist. We platonically hugged and parted ways.

Friday at 6:30: I met with the 34-year-old psychologist that I had a date with last week. I drove to Ann Arbor and we scheduled to meet in a beer garden. Even though I’ve lived in Ann Arbor and have visited it dozens of times to meet people, I still get lost. I parked really far away and was late to the beer garden. She has lived such a cool interesting life: undergrad in Ann Arbor, PhD in rural Illinois, lived in Baltimore, and California. We drank and enjoyed ourselves. We walked to an outdoor festival that was only half a block long. We kissed. We went to a bar. We drank more. She had a really interesting place – the entrance was hidden in the side of a building that we walked by. It was a loft that had a hidden room between the bedroom and the bathroom via a false bookshelf. We fooled around in the shower then in the bed. I’ve never had shower sex before. Also, before this night, I had never done anything sexual with a blonde. However, the night ended up being frustrating for me, I wasn’t able to get off and she was. I plan take a much more serious break from PMO now. It was good fun at the time, but I left the next day hungover and sexually frustrated.

Saturday at 5: I know this breaks from theme, but it’s accurate. I met up with the gorgeous redhead (CB) from Wednesday for our second date. We started off Frisbee golfing at Firefighter’s park. She had never heard of it, so I acted as a guide. It was fun. It was relaxing. It was peaceful. The world is a much more beautiful place when you spend time with a beautiful woman. We played through the course pretty quickly, and whenever there was a break we sat and just talked. I haven’t once felt uncomfortable around her and have loved to talk to her since I met her. She told me about her family, her new hobbies consisting of board games and concert-going. She said that she was pretty shy and not very outgoing, but she seems fine to me. You just feel happy around her. We went to a movie in Royal Oak, again, she had never been to the area. It was Southpaw, which was pretty heavy and gritty. Then we ended the night at a Coney Island a block away. We talked. She told me about board games and Dr. Who and surgery at Beaumont. I drove her back to her car at Firefighters. We kissed in the car – a long, sweet, passionate kiss that had been building up all day. I get a knot in my stomach when I think of her and write this now, but like anyone in the dating world, I’m afraid of vulnerability, so I’ll try not to get too emotionally invested too soon. I really want to see her again. I shut down my OkCupid account. I told my parents about her and they seemed excited as I don’t tend to tell them about anything I do romantically.

Sunday: Just worked on my presentation for today (Monday). It was only 20 minutes long but it took the whole day to do. The week actually was pretty wasteful academically. If I were to do weeks like this continuously I would fail out of med school, but I thoroughly enjoyed it as an social break. The presentation went really smoothly. It was on abnormal uterine bleeding and everyone seemed pleased with it. This week I plan to focus much more academically to compensate for the last week.

Starting Gyn Rotation and Reflection on a Failed Date

I finished my month of Ob and now am starting my month of GYN in my two month OB/GYN rotation at Oakwood hospital. It look like this month is going to be much MUCH easier to schedule than the previous month. Most of it is elective surgery. The biggest issue with OB is that women give birth around the clock – there always has to be a team on site. GYN is all surgeries, and can therefore be elective for the most part. I have to do emergency call once a week, where if a woman comes into the ER with an emergent gynecologic issue we help her. Because of the new lighter schedule, I reached out to a few people. I set up to meet my friend SB tomorrow, who I haven’t seen in a while and who I guess broke up with her boyfriend. I really haven’t kept in touch and it’ll be nice to see how she is. I also set up to meet with CS, who I dated for a while in the beginning of the year. Well, “dated” isn’t really the right term. She was dating multiple people and she decided to be exclusive with some other guy. She’s really complicated and thrives on ambiguity. When I told her my feelings she said that she was sorry that I felt that way about her as she didn’t feel that way about me. I’ve been avoiding her for the last few months because I figured “Why bother with someone who isn’t really attracted to you?” However, she is a really fun person and I always had a good time with her. I figured, why not meet up with her? I haven’t seen her in months. We could at least catch up.

I had a date with a cute thin little blonde engineer last Sunday (yesterday…but it feels longer ago). I took her to a brunch place in Royal Oak called Cafe Muse. Neither of us had ever been there before. She was pretty nervous, so I tried to calm her down. However, nervousness is contagious, I became a bit nervous as a result. Normally silences occur rather naturally in conversations. As neurotic as I might come of in this blog, I’m actually pretty good at dates and conversation. But the general vibe that comes from a good date never developed. We were two people who weren’t completely comfortable with the other. I tried to make jokes and they didn’t quite land with her. She wasn’t really into movies, or books, or music. She really liked her job, and her family, and her dog. I covered the brunch and we walked to a bakery where she bought me a cookie. We then walked around town in a cloud of uncomfortable silence occasionally broken by a joke, observation, or question. I stopped by my car, offered her a ride to hers, she declined, then we hugged and I left. If I could redo it, I would walk her to her car and have her drive me back and maybe go in for a kiss. I’ve never had a second date from a kissless first date, but this one was a bit more doomed and an attempted kiss would have been inappropriate. Whatever, I’ll probably never see her again. I told my Dad that it didn’t click and he was surprised with the idea of people “not clicking” with other people. He said that he clicked with 99% of people. I didn’t say anything then, but his definition of clicking is probably just different than mine. You can click at a professional or acquaintance level much easier than on a romantic one and I think he simply conflates the two.

Last week of OB

This was the last week of OB, then I start GYN next week. So many things happened this last week that I made notes to add to this. The week was filled with deliveries. I actually caught two babies, by which I mean that I stood and guided the baby out, held it, and handed it off to be cleaned. For two brief moments I held the youngest person on earth.

I had a date with the 34 year old psychologist. I need a better way to name in this blog, otherwise it marginalizes people. To simplify her down to just a 34 year old woman is a bit drastic. I guess I could still use initials, but it’s a bit…alienating. Regardless, I’ll tell about it.

I set it meet her after I was done at the hospital on Tuesday night in a bar in Dearborn. Because it was two-dollar-beer Tuesday, it was packed. She showed up a bit late, I was reading a book. I think we hit it off really well. Some people just vibe with you. I have a theory that I’ve noticed is that if a girl is way into baseball, we won’t hit it off at all. I seem to vibe more with girls in medicine, psychology, and literary girls. Anyways, she told me how she grew up in Western Michigan, went to undergrad in Ann Arbor, got a phD in Illinois, and worked in Baltimore. She’s lived a very academic and interesting life. I leaned in, listened, and shot the shit. It was a very fun night. I kissed her outside the bar on the way to the car. She’s out this weekend, but we set up to meet next weekend. I’m still keeping my options open though. I’m going to meet with a blonde engineer tomorrow for lunch.

OB Nights

This week I did nights in Ob/Gyn. The hours were 6pm-7am. At first I was able to stay up the whole night, but at the end of the week, I realized that I wasn’t really needed and wasn’t learning anything, so I took 3 hour naps from 3-6 am. I saw more deliveries and took more histories and physicals. Notable things I saw was a 9lb10oz baby born with an episiotomy. I really enjoyed these patients, they were very interesting to talk with. The woman was in nursing and the husband was in engineering. She and her friend were Colombian and were about the same gestational age coincidentally. It was a very pleasant experience.

The major issue that I have with any surgery, Cesarian included, is that it takes so long. I get bored. Surgeries would be so much more interesting if instead of an hour it took 5 minutes. It just drags on and on. After the delivery they have to sew layer after layer back. I stood there holding the retractor, or cauderizing, or maybe throwing a stitch, but I was generally bored the entire time.

Over the course of the week, I got better at secluding myself and reading. I had a pretty productive week academically, however, that’s not really the focus of rotations. I probably should have been more social – mingled more with the nurses, asked more questions to the residents and the like, but in the end, why bother? I just need to get this under my belt and move on.

I have yet to meet with the 34 year old psychologist, but I worked much more on my okcupid profile and it seems to be working substantially better. I got rid of that one picture and fixed the self-summary into something more colorful. I put a timer on and, in real time, just wrote and corrected what I wrote. I had to remove the app from my phone, it’s too addictive. I got a number off of it. She was in Detroit today when I was, but she was at the tiger’s game and I was at Motor City Brewery. I learned last time not to put too much stock into these apps and premature relationships. They all can be fickle and fall apart very quickly. However, it is pretty fun at this point, so why not do it?

My sleeping hours are all mixed up now. I should get to sleep soon and try to correct it all for next week, when I have to wake to be in Dearborn at 7 am.